In February at our state IVMA conference, I came into contact with a young mid-career veterinarian with 2 young children who was considering leaving practice to stay at home. She described how balancing work and family was creating a lot of stress. She was having difficulty leaving practice on time, which was causing issues with her daycare. In addition, this young family did not have the support of any nearby extended family they could fall back on for help, and her husband was encouraging her to leave practice. For background, I am a veterinarian mom who has largely raised my 3 children. My kids are currently mid-college and support for them is primarily financial along with advice when needed. Talking to the young DVM mother brought back many memories about how hard it was to juggle a family and a career in veterinary medicine. I remember posting once on social media how overwhelming it could feel to try to be a good mother, a good wife, and a good veterinarian. I am also married to a family physician, so our careers did not allow us the flexibility of working from home on occasion, if one of our children was sick. In addition, our middle son was diagnosed with Type I diabetes at the age of 3 and required extra care at school, especially during his grade school years. We did not live near any family that could offer us assistance. My husband also encouraged me to leave practice to care for our young family, but I resisted doing that. I had worked so hard to become a veterinarian, I enjoyed my profession, and I did not want to give up my career completely.
I wanted to write this article for my fellow DVM parents that are juggling parenting and demanding careers in the veterinary profession and offer encouragement. Please do not give up your career. We are blessed to have an education with skills that the majority of the world does not have. I want to encourage you that you can find your way through this challenging period in your life. I also want to say that it is a juggling act, our roles as parents and DVM’s is fluid and needs will change as your children grow. We definitely do not have to be perfect, and it is perfectly normal to feel like you are falling short at times when trying to meet personal and professional demands. I want to encourage you to not be afraid to make changes at work or at home to support yourself, get the housekeeper, or groceries delivered, and find your people who can help you in a pinch. I know it can be intimidating to communicate changing scheduling needs to our employers. However, DVM’s have more power to negotiate than ever before, due to the high demand for veterinarians. I believe practices are willing to offer more flexibility in order to retain their veterinarians.
For example, I graduated from veterinary school in 1998 when practices did not traditionally offer maternity leave, but I gathered up the courage to ask, and my employer gave me 6 weeks of paid maternity leave. I did end up leaving one very busy multi-doctor practice because I could not pick up my son from daycare on time in order to administer his insulin. I did receive permission from the practice owner to leave even if we were running behind on appointments, but I felt like I was failing my fellow DVMs. Looking back, I realize that I was placing way too much pressure on myself, and I wish I had communicated better with the other veterinarians about my son’s medical needs. Speak up for yourself.
Our profession is particularly challenging to leave and re-enter, in part because our jobs are so technically demanding. Surgical skills, critical thinking skills, and our knowledge base quickly
erode. I have seen quite a few DVM moms who left practice and once their family life became
easier, it was too scary to think about returning to practice. There were times in my career when
all of the income I generated went into daycare, a period of time where I only worked one day a
week, but I am so thankful I persevered and figured out a way to stay in practice. Practicing
even a little bit, kept my mind engaged, kept my skills up, and ultimately made me a better
parent. In addition, as our children grew, it became financially necessary for me to return to full time employment (college for 3, an unexpected gap in employment for my husband).
I do believe that veterinary parents are predisposed to burnout as they have demanding
caregiving roles both at home and at work. Please, when things feel overwhelming and you
need some extra support, there is actually a lot of ways to get it. Reach out to a fellow veterinarian who is currently raising a family, or an older vet who has already raised one, we would love to share how we got through. We are lucky there are so many ways to connect to fellow veterinarians through Facebook groups like DVM moms and programs such as Mentorvet. In addition, many employers offer Employee Assisted Programs that offer counseling for free to DVM’s and their dependents at no cost. The IVMA offers an EAP for being a member. All of these resources can help you navigate this beautiful, exhausting, enriching life of being both a parent and a veterinarian.